Today's topic is one of the most frustrating things I experience on a nearly daily basis, and something I am sure that I, myself, do to others who I unconsciously deem "lesser." Let's have an honest conversation.
To interrupt someone is to say that what they bring to the table is not important or worth our time. Now there is a distinction to be made here. The interruption I am talking about is not the occasional, mistaken "oops-I-talked-over-you-I-am-so-sorry-please-finish-your-thought." It is the persistent, purposeful over-talking of someone that the talker views as inferior. And it is a problem for individuals with diabilites, for the LGBTQ community, for non-white communities, etc. etc. etc.
Before getting upset at this idea, it is important to realize that getting upset is what prevents us from getting better. This "good-bad binary" makes us believe (for example) that if: 1) I interrupt someone with Tourettes, I am ableist and 2) ableism is bad so 3) I am bad. But 4) I am not bad, so I will reject the whole idea that this is a problem and move on in my life.
This is not a productive path for anyone in the situation.
So I will start: I am prejudiced. I may not mean to be, but I am. And I think if we all look inwards, we might find those prejudices are inside all of us. But! That does not make us bad people. What may make us fall into the "bad" side of the binary is when we do not try to fight against that prejudice. So let us try to let go of our own feelings of superiority. Try to respect a person for exactly who they are. Try to acknowledge another person's life walk, and the fact that it is valid.
Come with me on this journey, and maybe together we can stop some of the interruptions.
(Stay tuned for the next post, featuring the beginning of the tale of my medication journey! This blog will have several sub-topics; these numbered posts, which are my thoughts on personal issues; and stories about my journey, which will be differently labeled!)
–KMJ
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There’s this guy who I’m constantly interrupting. It’s in a business setting and I can’t seem to avoid it. He doesn’t talk slowly, but he must have some sort of rhythm that throws me off. I’m sure he gets frustrated by it, I know I do.
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I think the important thing is to first recognize it! We can only get better if we realize it ourselves!
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I know what you mean; it’s like you can’t help it even though you know you shouldn’t interrupt someone. I do it sometimes if someone is talking slowly or getting off topic.
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I’ve noticed that I’ve had problems with interrupting people when I feel like I can’t get out what I want to say in a conversation. For example, in a classroom setting, if there’s a group discussion and someone else keeps saying something before I get a chance. I’ve realized over the years that it’s because I have a problem with not being heard because my dad used to always yell at me for “talking back” when I would just try to explain myself. (Sounds dramatic, but it makes sense to me)
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No no! It makes sense! I find I have difficulties with this too. When we cannot express ourselves, so others start talking instead, it can be so frustrating! I don’t have a solution, I’m afraid. Just know that what you feel is valid!
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